First off, I want to say a few words about what’s going to be going on in this entry. This entry is probably going to have spoilers from both Season One (briefly and for context purposes) and a few parts in the new Season Two. Honestly, I can’t do this without doing it. Also, I’m going to be referring to T-Dog as “TD” during this. I have never liked calling him T-Dog and I could talk all day about how stupid it is to call him that. However, if you do see that I’ve made an error, please let me know and I will answer to it. I can admit to an error, restate my point, curse your ass out—whatever. Just let me know. Lastly, I’m not going to be drawing parallels to the original graphic novels. I have my own issues with the graphic novels (namely comments about how a female character is treated badly in story because she’s “weak”) and this ain’t the time or the place. With those things in mind, let us proceed.

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The Walking Dead (or TWD as it will be referred to hereafter) had one of the most racially problematic and confusing scenes I’ve seen in a horror title in a long, long time.

On one hand, TWD stayed pretty far away from the usual horror stereotypes. None of the “minorities” in the cast died first or early in the show’s run and the writers gave us two really sympathetic black characters to start out the first season. The secondary cast also contained people of different races and gave them moments that could be considered more heroic and awesome than the main leads. Hell, even the zombie extras are multi-ethnic. However—and this is a big however—this show has confused me racially from day one and it continued to throw me for a loop. Don’t get me wrong, I like this show and I eagerly anticipate each goofy, gross, melodramatic, creepy episode like I’m at my first boy band concert at age thirteen. But I can’t get a finger on whether this show is trying to be racially sensitive by being as obtuse as possible or slightly tripping over its own feet adorably like it does with every other thing it attempts. So despite some misgivings about the Hispanic family that’s given less than 4 lines between the three of them before they peaced out for lands unknown, I shrugged and kept watching. And when the one African-American female character decided to commit suicide because she couldn’t deal with this world, I wrinkled my nose a bit and passed it off as the writers wanting to show the flipside of the zombie apocalypse in morality terms.

And then there was that goddamn scene with TD and Dale.

First off, let me set the scene for you. TD is the only black character left in the survivor group that we’re watching at the top of Season Two. Actually, he is the only black male that we see consistently throughout the show and that’s pretty sad, considering his characterization thus far. For comparison, see this quote from the Wikipedia character list from the show: “A muscular and well-intentioned man, yet often clumsy and lacking in common sense”. Some of you are screaming “what? But it’s from Wikipedia! Surely there’s a TROLL IN THE DUNGEON”. Uh, no. No, there isn’t. That’s TD’s character in a nutshell. In Season One, his biggest bit of character development is that he leaves a racist redneck handcuffed to a roof of a building where said redneck could get killed by zombies. And then he feels bad about it for two or three episodes. Without rewatching all of Season One, I can’t tell you a damn thing that he does that’s memorable or helpful except chaining Mr. Redneck to the roof and, even then, it’s played off as cruel and unnecessary punishment. The next development he gets is in Season Two when—I shit you not—his carelessness gets his arm cut on a car door and the blood leads a zombie to him. He’s saved by Mr. Racist’s brother, Darryl, who may actually be racist but we haven’t deal with that. We’ve been too busy making Darryl the badass of the show. I’ll get to that issue and chaining-racist-man-to-a-roof another day, I promise. I will not open that clusterfuck of a Pandora’s box right now. Let’s get to the scene I’ve been waiting to deal with. Basically, TD’s arm is very messed up and he’s getting an infection. So he stays behind with Dale, the oldest recurring character who will be serving as our RV-driving sage for this show. While they’re waiting for the others to get back, we get this lovely scene that I have transcribed completely as evidence:

(TD sits by the side of the RV, resting and trying to calm down after finding a car with a bloody baby seat. Dale walks up to him, carrying some bags and supplies from the other cars along the freeway)
Dale: Found some more batteries…bottle of very trendy pink water. Excellent new machete. I thought Glenn might like this guitar. Maybe he plays. (beat) No drugs. You?
TD: Ibiprofen. And these. (Holds up some cigarettes; beat) What are we doin’?
Dale. Pulling supplies together
TD: No, I mean, I mean..what are we doing? People off in the woods. Days (possibly “they’s”) looking for that poor girl and we here. Why? Because they think we’re the weakest. (beat) Well, what are you, 70?
Dale: 64.
TD: Ohhh…and I’m the one black guy. Realize how precarious that makes my situation?
Dale: What the hell are you talkin’ about?
TD: Mmm…I’m talkin’ about two good ole boy cowboy sheriffs and a redneck whose brother cut off his own hand because I dropped the key. Who in that scenario you think is gonna be the first to get lynched?
Dale: You can’t be serious. Am I—hey—am I missing something?! Those cowboys have done alright by us and if I’m not mistaken, that redneck went out of his way to save your ass. More than once.
TD: And don’t forget about Andrea. Kills her own sister. (Note here: a sister who was bitten)
Dale: She was already dead.
TD: Then [Andrea] wants to blow herself up. Yeah, she’s all there.
Dale: She’s havin’ a tough time. What is wrong with you?
TD: The whole world is havin’ a tough time! Damn man, open your eyes! Look where we are! Stuck in this mess here!
Dale: Shhhh!
TD: Let’s..let’s just go. Let’s just…take the RV.
Dale: You’ve gone off the deep end!
TD: Man, why are we stuck on the side of this road like live bait? Let’s just go. You and me. Let’s go before they get back.
Dale: (Gets up and feels his forehead) Oh my god, you’re burnin’ up! Give me that! (points to the pills) Come on! (TD hands them to Dale, Dale shakes out some pills and offers them to TD) Here, take these. (TD puts them in his mouth) We gotta put that fever down. (Dale hands him a bottle of water and watches suspiciously as TD swallows them down) …where the hell are they?
The Walking Dead, S2, E2 Bloodletting 22:46 – 25:59

Now some people are going to quote the MST3K creed and tell me that I’m taking this show too seriously. Others are going to read this blockquote and wonder what all the fuss is about. But I’m sure that there are a good amount of you who see where this passage is problematic. For the former that I’ve described, let me explain briefly where I see problems and leave it at that until I a) see the episode for tonight (11/14) and b) rewatch the series and bring this back into a discussion about race overall in the show’s current run.

First off, what really strikes me about this conversation is that this personal one-on-one talk is not new to the viewer. This show has a lot of running and killing, yes, but it also has a ton of person to person interaction where the characters discuss morality, life in zombie times, their past lives, etc. However, this is the first conversation that deals with race in zombie times and, as far as I know, this was the only sit down discussion of race in the show. The other time it was brought up was when Mr. Racist beat TD and called him that never-say-die N word. Why? Because TD wanted Mr. Racist to stop wasting bullets and attractive zombies. Apparently zombie times isn’t post-racial after all.

Second, I feel like I have to explain why TD brought up Andrea and what he’s trying to get at by reminding Dale of Andrea’s being allowed to go on the expedition. As TD said, he and Dale are the only survivors left with the cars. Even Andrea, who is going through the aforementioned rough patch, was taken even though Dale didn’t trust her with her own gun. Honestly, women in TWD are sitting ducks. None of them know how to use a gun. I repeat. Even though Andrea has a gun, she doesn’t know how to use it. You see where TD was going with his mention of Andrea? They took the “crazy” woman who isn’t having a good time emotionally and the other “don’t know how to protect ourselves” womenfolk but left TD and Dale behind. Now you can argue that TD was left because of his infection and Dale was left because he was trying to tinker with the RV (or not…this episode was dumb). Except Dale reinforces TD’s claim of The Weakest Link right there. TD’s been saved over and over. Even without the infection, he wouldn’t be able to fully hold his own.
Third, and most important, why is the racial element of the scene brought up in the first place and why when TD has a fever? Don’t get me wrong, I’m really interested in race in any type of fantastical setting. Discussing race would have really made TWD stand out among the pack of zombie media that prefers to make the apocalypse an “us humans against them zombies” affair. All races united to stop the living dead. It would have been fascinating to explore that aspect as the living dead are eating people, not culture. The preconceived ideas on gender, sexuality, race, size, age aren’t gone forever in a puff of magic smoke. They still exist and TD shows us as an audience that they still influence people’s decisions and survival instincts. Like I said before, if TWD treated it well, this exploration could be revolutionary. But it was brought up when TD has a fever. To only one person. In the middle of nowhere. With no context. And then it was (so far) never spoke of again.

Let me speak frankly here: what the fuck was up with that, writers? Why did you have TD bring it up when he had an infection? Don’t you realize how it sounds when race is brought up once by a black man who is sick? Not just sick but infected from his own stupidity, in a sense? From my perspective, as a woman of color, that was a huge cop-out.
“Oh look! TD is uncomfortable by the authority figures and the brother of the man who racially targeted him! Character development, HO! Oh wait…SIKE! He has a fever and is probably delirious! Give him some Ibuprofen and all of those scary thoughts about white men will just float away on a magical pillow of pain relief.”

Now it could be that TD spilled the beans because he was delirious. Like he has been keeping tight lip to keep the peace and he let his filter down because he wasn’t feeling well. But I don’t have a creative writing degree, I have a degree in English literature. We don’t create magical intent out of thin air, we look at what the text says and try to find the meaning. Personally, I see no reason for this conversation to happen in such circumstances. What do most people think of when a person of color brings up that the police are out to get them or that they think that a white person’s actions aren’t coming from the best place? Probably think that they’re crazy or playing the race card. So, dear writers, why not give TD a bit more credibility? Why not at least mention it later on? Why drag the elephant to the center of the room and then explain it away as a trick of the light? What the hell?

I don’t know what the demographic is of the new writing team on the show. I don’t know if this conversation is going to come up later. I don’t know if TD’s fears will be treated more credibly in the future. What I do know is that, for the first go-round with this idea, it failed. It just made it seem like TD was pulling the race card out of delirium. I’m just saying, if you can devote episodes to lengthy discussion about life, death, suicide, religion, and regrets, then you can devote a bit more time to developing more racial, gender, and sexuality issues. TD’s fever discussion wasn’t the only time that TWD dropped the basket when it came to something really important like this. This is just the only time that’s really standing out. That and the fact that none of the secondary and primary female characters can protect themselves properly. But that’s crap for another day.

Originally posted by acelightning at Signal Boost: Dear GOP - You are killing people!

There are very few of these that I actually answer. Mostly cause some of the questions are problematic, crappy, or don't spark my interest. But this is one group of questions that I do have experience with and I feel like I should reply to this one.

I've been on both end of the cheating question. I've been cheated on and I've cheated. Both people who cheated on me, I took back. The person I cheated on took me back. So you would think that I'd say "yes, take them back. See what happens". Not exactly.

What I say is don't be so quick to say "NOPE ALWAYS A CHEATER" or "YES, TRUE LOVE CONQUERS ALL". If you've never been cheated on, you don't know what it's like. If you haven't cheated on somebody, you don't know what it's like. Being so quick to judge on something like this is not going to help you in the long run. When that moment comes, you will be just as confused and hurt if you stick to your original, non-cheated answer. Having a canned response won't help you in this circumstance. It will not help you in many circumstances. This is life.

When you are cheated on, you have to figure out what you're going to do. And sometimes it's not as clear cut as take them back or kick them to the curb. I wish it were but it's not. If you're lucky, you'll have good friends to let you in their house when you're crying and hyperventilating. If you're lucky. If you're not, like the first time I got cheated on, you will sit around alone. Trying to process, trying to figure out what you did wrong, why you aren't good enough, what could you do better, how could they hurt you this way. Your heart might be shattered and even with the pieces on the floor in front of you, you won't know whether to pick them up and glue them together. You just won't know.

When you cheat on somebody and are actually sorry about what you've done, you will have to figure out what you're going to do. And it's not as easy as "I'm sorry and that's it, take me or leave me". No, it can be just as confusing. You might question yourself as a person, hurt yourself, focus and replay the events in your mind. It will be terrible. And your partner will be there, in front of you, crushed and hurting. And you can do nothing. You just won't know.

Would I take somebody back after they cheated on me? It depends. Why? Because life is rarely black and white. Because it depends on the relationship with that person, what happened, if I'm ready to forgive them, and if they're truly sorry. What would change my mind? It depends. Life is not so simple.

When I forgave the last person who cheated on me (I'm not saying who it was, so deal with it), I made up the mind to forgive them completely and move on. But it wasn't that easy. Although we got better, I still had doubts in my mind. I still hurt for a while. And when I finally heard the full story, that person thought I would hate them forever. But I didn't. And it took me by surprise when I didn't. I was more worried about how that person was dealing with it and whether they had forgiven themselves for what happened. They were scared, confused, depressed, and unable to tell anybody the full story for fear of what would happen. This is not the profile of The Cheater stereotype but sometimes, this is the reality. So don't be so quick to judge. Make up your mind when it happens and how it unfurls.

Originally posted by neo_prodigy at Cass Cain Counts!

!!EDIT!! AS OF YESTERDAY, THE TOTAL WAS $4,600. MORE THAN ENOUGH TO SECURE THE APARTMENT!! THANK YOU SO MUCH. TENISE WILL BE IN TOUCH WITH YOU IF YOU HELPED SHORTLY. !!EDIT!!

I'm reposting what Tenise put on her LJ earlier. I'm not even sure what anybody on my friends list can do but we've got to try. I love the mother and child in question a lot and it has been fun to help them out, hang out with them, babysit, and play. Her daughter is a beautiful five year old who is intelligent, sensitive, loving, and Princess-crazy! Please help this mother and daughter stay together in any way you can. I've almost had my mother taken away from me and I remember the fear and pressure. I don't want my loved ones to experience the same thing.

If you want more information about what's going on, just ask. Names are being kept out for privacy sake.

( Tenise's post )

When I initially decided that I would start my LJ back up again for real for real, I had considered it being what it was when I started. Just random ramblings about my every day life, bitching about people, swooning over the current boyfriend...you know, stuff.

Then Glee happened.

And My Fair Lady reemerged in my mind.

And then I found a criticism on Voice and Body in the Little Mermaid.

And before I knew it, I was considering an analytical blog.

So my project for 2010 (you know, besides moving out of the country, getting my degree, and starting my adult life) will be making this into an analytical blog. Analyzing pretty much anything really. Right now, it seems like it'll consist of TV shows, literature, and movies but I'm sure, if I continue it, I'll end up expanding it to other things.

Next week, while I'm home, I'll be making a list of possible articles to start thinking about and that I might possibly examine. For now, a taste of it. This abstract was written for English senior seminar but, while writing it, I realized that it was one of the best ideas for a paper I had thought up recently. I also think it reflects my style as a critic. I don't necessarily strictly fall under categories like feminist criticism, queer theory, formalism, or new historicist critiques. I am a critic that takes commonly held ideas and subverts them. Or at the very least, questions them.

So, without further ado, I give you The Conservative Moral of the Rocky Horror Show.

( The Conservative Moral of the Rocky Horror Show: An Abstract )

Crappy day and then boyfriend comes to the rescue:


Laurence <3
your guess is as good as mine...well, knowing you probably not, but you get the point

Stevie
but I really like that house I don't want it to blow up--heeeeyyyy :P

Laurence <3
^^
18:07
:*

Stevie
that's right, kick the horse when it's unable to swim cause you dragged it to water
18:07
wait....shit XD
18:07
Laurence: 1, Stevie: 0
18:08
you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it swim?
18:08
I am awesome XD

Laurence <3
>.<
18:08
that's some serious proverbial fail there XD

Stevie
....but you can't make it swim
18:08
HAH HAH XD

Laurence <3
i beg to differ, put fire on the shore and the horse will swim to safety

Stevie
but there isn't fire on the shore in my metaphor

Laurence <3
it's a metaphor, there can always be fire

So I'm pretty much hiding out in Maryland today. ><


You really shouldn't have to hide from your mom to watch anime. Posting later on..

So I'm writing in here again. I would say don't hold your breath, I probably won't post in here often but people have heard that song and dance before. I'm doing one of those infamous looking back posts that, when I'm 26, I'll laugh at because it's too corny or too sad that I'm actually looking back so much. But I was never one of those people to stop looking back just because they're going forward. I just don't hope I'm doing it too much...tripping over your own feet sucks. I feel like I've typed this paragraph so many times but it's like my disclaimer on posts like this if only because it makes me feel better about making another one.

So TRHQ is in the front of my head right now. When I was in TRHQ NEXT, I looked back at TRHQ proper. Then when I was in high school and stopped going to the board and going in the chat, I started to look at the beginning of high school. And then when I got to college, I looked back with counselors but edited things so that TRHQ was simplified as "I went online and made friends, the end". When people ask me about relationships, I only count one relationship in TRHQ as legitimate but I figure now, the other two were real. They feel real and as my mind changes, I think that's all that's needed to make something real. I'm not even sure how many of my close friends KNOW about TRHQ. It was either the place where I met Matt, AN, and Shads or a board I used to go to. And heaven forbid they ever heard about me and Sarah. For people I wasn't close to, our history was rewritten or downplayed. And I think she became just my only girlfriend, nameless, faceless and without any of the emotion attached. Eventually all the relationships before you fall in love turn into little figures with their painted faces rubbed off..or at least that's how you hand them to other people to look at when you're going through the attic of your mind. You never treat them as they really are, marked fragile, and so when somebody makes a chip in them or hurts your feelings, you breathe in and shake it off before running away to repair the crack as soon as they leave.

<...and I don't write anymore. Or at least I haven't really, besides journal writing. I'm sure that line is much better than much of Twilight but then again, I like those books. But that part I just wrote seems pretty.>

When I first started to panic about going back home from England, I messaged Koop before I talked to anybody else. And I hadn't talked to him in months. I remember telling Matt before I told anybody else that I wanted to come to Reading in the first place. Lots of people from TRHQ came to my rescue multiple times whether it was to give me some advice or talk on the phone for hours so I wouldn't be lonely or pile me and all my friends into their car cause I was an idiot. Many of them inspire me--still do--and if I could, I'd bottle that inspiration and give it back to them so they could have it for when they need it. It seems selfish to keep that to myself but then again, I gave a lot of my courage to other people as well only to get it back in a smaller number. I got crushes on people from there, I learned about stuff I probably shouldn't have learned about from them, I met them and had dinner with them, I tried my hardest not to drown in being shy and in awe about them. I mean, a lot of us were kids but AN and Shads and TeaRoses and a lot of other people whose SNs I can recite before I can say my phone number confidently were adults and even when they couldn't get things together, they kept trying. So I learned to keep trying. To write when it came and to set your goals. How to talk to people in a calm manner. Didn't totally learn that from my mom or dad. And the people my age, it was good to have people going through the same things. Or to meet people from different walks of life. Or to even get mad at trolling people because it took my mind off of what was going on in real life.

I cried a lot and I laughed a lot. I stunted my growth by staying up all hours of the night talking. I ran up my mom's phone bill. And I wish I had a lot of them back in my life with few exceptions. Especially now when I'm coming back to the US and don't know how to take it.